December 2009
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Tsunami;
Well Im off to the Bay Area until Wednesday:) Me, Sam, and the Church. Should be fun. Ending the year in a positive way.. great mood. Quick turn around, we will see if it lasts. And if not, this is the last chance.. Im gone if I get screwed over again. Got my itouch, so Im set for the car ride. ha. I’m really excited. Then when I get back, time for New Years:))
See ya<3
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what a week;
Christmas vacation is exactly what I needed. Ive ended the year in a great mood I suppose. Everything feels a lot better, even though some people tell me I’m not quite there yet, but you know, it’s better than before and that’s what counts. Certain things still confuse me, but it probably always will until someone just throws the answer out there. Christmas was amazing:) I was...
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Life feels a lot better lately:) and I for one am liking it. Even so, there are things I wish I could change still. But I guess it won’t ever be absolutely perfect. Things still hurt sometimes, and things still come back and remind me. And there are still about a million unanswered questions, and maybe one day I will finally get an answer.
I am so ready for Christmas. I think I got everyone...
Post Secrets;
Secret #1;
even though you weren’t here when I needed you most, if you needed me, I’d still be there.. even after the months of hell you put me through.
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if you were so happy;
then why did you let go? I don’t understand. I try too.. I really do. I will always be here to listen and help as I can. Maybe one day I will fully understand.
On another note; I am having a great weekend. Last night I went to the Christmas party with Ashtin. That was a lot of fun. She spent the night. We watched The Ring. I know im like the only person on the planet who hasn’t seen...
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I cant help but wonder;
when you send me things like that, are you remembering? or is it someone else coming back to mind. Do you regret it? or are you sorry? or do you just need someone to talk too? When you send me those things I’m not sure what they mean anymore. I used to know every time who it was about, what it was about. Why can’t you just say when you send it.. ha. Then I wouldn’t be sitting...
reading;
irritates me haha. The ending is either sad, or it leaves you curious as to what is gonna happen next, or you have to wait for the next book to come out. Ugh. ha. Just got done reading Go Ask Alice. Quite sad. The ending irritated me. Her life is finally back together, and then BAM. You’ll have to read it though.
I went to lunch with my great grandmother today. It was nice, even though...
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vacation;
has started out nicely. I went to the mall 4x today haha. I bought the book go ask alice. It’s so sad. I’m almost half way done. Things have been good for a few days. I still don’t know if they will continue to be this way, but I hope so.
There isn’t much to say today. I need a job, bad. Hopefully I will have one soon. ugh.. it sucks not having a job around Christmas time...
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prove it;
prove to me it’ll stay this way.. and ill believe you. Ill let some of my guard down, but you have to prove to me it’ll stay this way first. And it may take awhile. My trust isn’t just handed out anymore. So please, prove to me this change can be permanent.
Why did you do it? Why did you pick me? Why does it still get to me sometimes? How did I come across that blog and I wasn’t even looking for it. It was full of things that used to make me smile. But now it just brings back the reality that used to be. Why was there that hope, that “we will make it through” but it ended 2 months later? Why are there so many damn questions? If they...
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the world is sad;
you spend most of your time on an internet chat room of some sort. ex. myspace, facebook, twitter. How much social contact do you actually have? Do you remember when we would spend most of our time outside? You’d find creative ways to entertain yourself, or creative ways to put something together. You’d take your time. No need to hurry back inside because you’re favorite...
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your love evaporates like tears from my eyes;
Tears that fall like pedals from a rose. But every rose has its thorns. and pretty soon every pedal has fallen off of this rose and all that’s left are all of the thorns. Maybe it wasn’t as beautiful as you thought it was.. -Kelsey
Rumors. They’re so stupid. Kelsey you’re this. Kelsey you’re that. Instead of pointing your dirty fingers at me, get to know me....
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Im not a piece of trash;
that you can sit here and walk all over continuously. Seriously. I’m done letting you do it too. I keep my mouth shut constantly and it’s honestly sad. Really, maybe I’m just used to you making me feel like that.. so used to it that it’s become normal to me. Well this “normal” isn’t right. I’m sick of it. So try it again, really go right ahead....
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every rose has it's thorns,
isn’t that the truth. You think someone could be so amazing. you see no faults in them.. but as time progresses, each thorn starts to appear. Eventually you realize that they weren’t even close to the person that you thought they really were. Sometimes all the pedals fall, and all that’s left are the thorns.. ____________________________________________
What a weekend I had....
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a little more;
I give a little bit more everyday. It gets a little bit better everyday. People drift away a little more everyday. I want to stay a little more everyday.. I want to leave a little more everyday. Life changes a little bit more everyday. A little more everything.. everyday.
Today was actually okay. I keep myself busy. I don’t really know how many people I will talk to anymore when something...
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“It’s a good thing most people bleed on the inside or this would be a gory,...”
– Go Ask Alice (via its0nlylife)
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Ive had my share;
and I don’t want anymore. Really, I just want to go far far away. Maybe if someone made me go it would be easier to get there.
How is it that one thing can just make everything else crash down around it. I don’t even know how to explain it anymore. Not like anyone would care to listen anyways. I just don’t know how much more of this I can sit through.
“I must be a pretty...
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take me or leave me;
because I’m tired of guessing who wants me around and who doesn’t.
Promises, they don’t get kept in High School I have decided. They’re pointless to make because I’m starting to see that nobody is going to keep them. It really disappoints me.
Christmas Break should come so much sooner. The question is, which school will I come back too after break..
I'm sorry;
Everyone is always sorry. So when does it stop? Is there ever a point in time where it just stops. No more needs to say sorry? If you really are sorry, doesn’t that mean you would stop doing it?
“I love you” It’s so OVERUSED. It has come down to just something being said on a daily basis. Do you feel like you have to say it? It’s funny how the meaning can change. It...
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Robin Hood;
From BBC America. I love this show. They had the season finale last night. I was pissed. They killed Robin Hood. How do you have a show called Robin Hood and kill him? Pretty much everyone died. I think theyll have another season but it won’t be the same :( His “brother” Archer is probably going to take over. Ugh.. Watch 3 seasons and they kill the main character along with...
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“Complicated is when you don’t know where you stand in a person’s life. It’s when...”
– unknown
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forever and almost always;
nothing exciting really. I have been spending my weekend with family. It’s nice. Today we are celebrating my brothers 19th birthday. Where has the time gone. I remember when I was taller than him and it was always “one day I will grow taller than you Kelsey.” Well, we are there now. ha. He rubs it in all the time.
The house looks like Christmas. I love Thanksgiving Day, you get...
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never a priority, always an option;
Isn’t that the truth. It’s funny how some days you can be the priority.. and you feel like to some people you will never be an option, and how quickly it changes to where you are nothing but an option.
Yesterday was pretty crappy. Do people ever ask you what is wrong and you can’t find an answer because you honestly don’t know? That’s how I felt. I feel like I have...
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Good things never last;
December 4, 2009
Yesterday may have been amazing, but today was not so much. Good things never last I guess. Waiting for something great to come my way. I wish I could go back to my birthday (March) and make everything right again. “Kelsey, it’s been months.” - Mom. Yes I know it has been “months” but I want my life to be as great as it was. I guess Im not used to...
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“So I walked down those halls, memorizing everything - the gym, the classrooms,...”
– unknown
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Some change;
It’s funny how I was just saying that these last few months have been hell.. Today was the first day in so long that I felt like I fit in where I was. I guess those kinda days pop in every now and again. The people I am around all day, we all were together, laughing and having a great day. Nobody was irritated by anyone else.. It was just great. It was one of my friends birthdays. I made him...
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First Post;
Wednesday December 2, 2009
Well, My name is Kelsey(: and I’m new to this thing. But I guess I’ll come and write daily. This thing looked all cool and such :P so I thought I’d give it a try.
I am officially tired of school and we have only been back for about 3 days. ha. I am ready for some change. Junior year, and one more year to go. I’m sure I’ll regret saying...
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“sleep is overrated we stay awake and cry if this is love, than kill me now and...”
– unknown